Tag Archive: seriously? you do that?


you want some of me?!

To the woman who babysat last night:

For the love of God.  PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME.  I know that when you came over,  Bunny didn’t have shoes on.  She rarely does when we’re outside.  It is OK.  She is either on the grass or the driveway.  Her feet are fine.  OF COURSE I put shoes on her when we actually leave.  Like when we go to the park.  Or the store.  Or pretty much anywhere else.  She is FINE, and so are her feet.  In fact, most of the time she will remove her shoes and become barefoot on her own.  And yes, Bunny was sans pants and diaper.  We are in the middle of potty training and I had just cleaned up a mess when you arrived.  She is 20  months old and I highly doubt she will offend someone if they saw her naked bum.  There really was no need for you to give me a nasty look when I told you as much.  And when I told you, you didn’t have to partake in the potty training and that you could keep the diaper on her, you didn’t have to be so snippy saying of course you would have nothing to do with potty training.  Geesh, lady.  I already let you off the hook.  You didn’t have to be rude about it.  Oh wait.  That’s all you know how to do.  Then, when you asked about dinner and I showed you what I had for Bunny, you didn’t have to give me a hard time because there wasn’t any protein.  She doesn’t have to have protein for every flipping meal.  Just be thankful I didn’t ask you to give her a bath.  Also, when we got home, you didn’t need to point out that you did my dishes and folded my laundry because my house was a mess.  Also, you didn’t have to make it clear that Bunny had kept her shoes and her pants and her diaper on for you.  Of course she did.  YOU are not ME.  She will act differently for you. But of course, you will never realize that.  OH!  And when you told me that Bunny didn’t eat much for dinner but you refused to give her any of her snacks she was asking for, I wanted so smack you.  Just because she didn’t want her pasta but would eat her crackers, you should have given her the crackers! At least she would have had something!!

To the man who cussed at me today:

I don’t know who pissed in your Wheaties this morning, but it was absolutely unnecessary and completely rude to tell me that I am a fucking asshole.  I have no idea what provoked you to say that.  I was driving UNDER the speed limit and was fully aware that I was approaching the cross walk where you were walking with your dog — unleashed, no less.  Yes, I rolled down my window because I could not believe you yelled at me.  I was no where NEAR the cross walk when you were in it.  When I asked you what you had said and you told me that I was “a fucking asshole ” because I  “was driving like one” I nearly lost it.  I had no response.  I was so flabbergasted.  When I turned to my friend, who was with me at the time, I was met with a look of sheer surprise.  Her mouth was open and her eyes were wide.  I asked if I was, in fact, driving like a fucking asshole and the consensus was that I was not.  So, fuck you mister.

To my husband:

Just because Bunny throws fits at the end of the day does not mean that I overstimulate her.  I also do not need your advice that I ‘learn how to parent’.  Also, potty training is HARD.  Do not belittle my efforts.  It is not easy.  You choose to run away whenever poop is even mentioned.  Like today.  You were going to take Bunny with you on your run this afternoon, but since she was having a tantrum, you opted to go without her and blame me for her actions.  Nice.  Real nice, buddy.  I already feel shitty enough about my efforts with her.

To the person who suddenly thinks we are raising chickens for her:

Um, sorry, but no, no we are not.  Do not think that because you have offered to split the cost of another coop with us that we will suddenly jump at the chance.  I am not raising ANYTHING for you.  Thank GOD hubby said no.  But holy hell.  The audacity of some people.  Yes, we had thought about getting a few more chickens, but really, having 3 chickens is more than enough for us.  And just because WE have chickens doesn’t mean anyone else will get to reap the benefits of it, unless of course, I say so.  So back off.  I really hope you do not think that we will be giving you a weekly allotment of eggs or anything once they start laying eggs, either.  Sure, you can have some from time to time, but not if you expect them and not every week, that’s for DARN sure.

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on parenting.

What a difference a year makes.  Or 20 months, to be sure.  I never knew what kind of parent I would be as I wasn’t ever so sure that I actually wanted to have children.  But, when we found out I was pregnant, we never looked back.  But now, well, I wouldn’t change a thing for the world.   I think not having any expectations is what has helped me the most.  Sure, I have bat shit crazy tough days, but don’t we all?  And they eventually go away.  I know that Bunny is just a little kid and most of what she does is because she just doesn’t know any better.  She’s only 20 months old, for crissake, so it’s not like she is intentionally pushing my buttons.  And I know I am the boss of her and not the other way around.  It just kills me when I see parents who let their kids rule their worlds.  Like they are mere players in their kids production of life.  Sure, to a small point we are, but that doesn’t happen until they are MUCH older.  Not when they are under 2.  Or even under 3.

It drives me insane when I talk to parents who won’t go out because their kid doesn’t handle shopping centers well.  Or the kid doesn’t like being in a car seat.  Or they won’t give their kid refined sugar until they are 2.  And other such nonsense.  Okay, so I totally understand not wanting to go shopping with your toddler when it is nap time.  Or when they are hungry.  But seriously.  To not want to shop because they can’t handle it is a bit much for me.  But then that begs the question, just what in the world are you shopping for?  I mean, a routine trip to Target or to Safeway really shouldn’t be that bad.  Should it?  YOU have the power to say NO.  And of course you don’t drag them around for hours on end.  I would meltdown at the end of that, too!  I know one girl who didn’t leave her house for MONTHS because her toddler threw such a fit getting into the car seat.  Um…seriously?  I was just baffled.  Sure, Bunny throws a fit every now and then, but well, I shove my knee in between her little legs and get her all buckled in.  Once the car is in motion, she’s normally fine.  I just could not imagine being stuck at home just because of my fussy kid.  I would literally go insane.  And by no means am I saying that shopping is super easy, just that it’s not the end of the freaking world, either.

And I really don’t understand the whole not feeding your kid refined sugar until their are 2.  Now, I’m all for feeding good, healthy things to your kiddos.  Heck, I’ve gone as organic as I can, save for the kraft mac and cheese.  And perhaps the random other goodies that call my name at the store.  But seriously, I think sugar in moderation is just fine.  I made Bunny’s baby food for a really long time, which was really simple, but once she started eating more solid, grown up food, I just made sure what she was eating was healthy.  I do shop organic or extra healthy for the most part, but having a delicious Mc Donalds french fry every once in a while isn’t going to kill her.  Or me.  And I buy a ton of whole grain goodies and we have fresh fruit and veggies all the time.  And pretty much all of our meat comes off the land from my super hunter husband.  But I was so freaking sad when I went to several birthday parties over the past year where the kids weren’t allowed to have real sugar in their cakes and cupcakes.  I mean, really.  I guess for me, it’s all about moderation.  Bunny doesn’t jones for sugar, but she knows it’s a special treat.  And it’s just not the same to use fake sugar in a cupcake.  That is plain EVIL.  And don’t even get me started on the parents that gave their kid a whole grain muffin for in lieu of a birthday cupcake.  wtf is wrong with people?!

Ah, and then there is the topic of television.  Now, I don’t normally use the TV as a babysitter, but if Elmo does happen to come on when I need to do the dishes or fold the laundry, then so be it.  But I’m not sitting Bunny in front of the boob tube for hours on end, either.  usually. I just don’t understand not letting your kid watch any TV.  And by TV, I mean programming that is age appropriate.  Like Sesame Street.  I actually know a few people who won’t let their kids watch the beloved show because they think it is crap.  Oh, jeez.  Really.  Sorry you don’t want your kid to earn to color, count or dance by some fuzzy monsters.  But, these are also the same people who are insistent that their kids are gifted and are already gearing up for sending them to Waldorf schooling.  And while I’m on the topic, a girl I know actually is actually pissed off that the ABC Family channel has shows on that talk about sex.  The show in question?  A tween show with Hilary Duff.  Um…seriously?  If your tween doesn’t know what sex is, you’ve got bigger problems.  You can only shelter your kids for so long.  And sheltering is bad.  Sheltering leads to kids who literally go nuts when they are finally free of the restraints, both literally and figuratively.

I just want Bunny to grow up being a happy, self reliant, self assured kid.  But she needs to know that I am the boss and what I say goes.  Well, at least until she is taller than me.  Oh wait.  That won’t be for very much longer…..