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Gee, just ONE thing?  sigh.  I guess the biggest thing I hate about my self is my constant insecurity about being liked.  I really don’t know why that is, but it bothers me all the time.  I know I have friends and people who do like me, but I’m so damn insecure about it.  I’ve always been so envious about people who have true best friends and true loving families and have wanted both so bad.  Sometimes I think I try TOO hard for people to like me, then I think, if they don’t like me, then I don’t need ’em.  I mean, I don’t go out of my way and do anything silly, like stalk people or anything, but I do get my panties all in a bunch if people don’t respond back to me or call me in a reasonable amount of time.  Thank the jesus baby that I have grown up enough to not pester them, though.  It’s hard, but I just wait for them to contact me.  Then I make up all kinds of lame stuff in my head about WHY they haven’t gotten back to me, as if THEIR lives aren’t important or if THEY aren’t busy.  ugh.  I just hate that I am so insecure.  I know I’m a good person and a good friend.  I guess I just need more positive reinforcement and unfortunately, the family I have both married and regular are not the positive, loving kind.  I just need to be strong and grateful for myself, I guess.

i have stolen this idea from a friend on facebook.  every day for the past 30 days she has written on a predetermined topic and i have really enjoyed reading her responses.  so, i have decided to follow suit.  i am going to do my best to write here every day.  here is the list, if you’re interested in getting a sneak peak of what is to come.

Day 01 — Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 — Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 — Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 — Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 — Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 — Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 — Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 — Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 — Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.

Day 10 — Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

Day 11 — Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Day 12 — Something you never get compliments on.

Day 13 — A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)

Day 14 — A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Day 15 — Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

Day 16 — Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Day 17 — A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 18 — Your views on gay marriage.

Day 19 — What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Day 20 — Your views on drugs and alcohol.

Day 21 — (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?

Day 22 — Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

Day 23 — Something you wish you had done in your life.

Day 24 — Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)

Day 25 — The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Day 26 — Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Day 27 — What’s the best thing going for you right now?

Day 28 — What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?

Day 29 — Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.

Day 30 — A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

blah.

I have been in such an everliving funk these past few days.  I feel as though I have been a rotten friend, mother and partner.  Blah.  I have no idea what has been bothering me, either.  I just feel so out of sorts.  We have another session tonight with the therapist, and for that I am glad.  It took me forever to find a sitter, though, since I waited until the last minute.  But, I found one.  whew.  I really didn’t want to have to cancel the appointment.  They seem to be helping.  This weekend hubby and I are actually getting away for a night.  BY OURSELVES.  We’re not going far, just up the road to a resort, but it’s just the two of us.  My mil will be watching Bunny, which I am nervous about, but well, I just need to sack up.  I can only pray to the jesus baby that she doesn’t bring any booze over or i WILL loose it.  We will be going to a fancy dinner and spending some time in the luxurious spa.

So I took a break since writing the first part.  yeah, I know, it wasn’t like I had written a whole lot.  Whatever.  I had things to do.  Anyhow, after securing a babysitter, my therapist cancelled.  blah.  Just as well, though, as it’s a crummy day out AND the World Series will be on soon.  But really?  this funk needs to Go. Away.

And for the record, since I am being so blah and all, I really really really really HATE it when people don’t respond to email or text.  sigh.  And I’m talking after a reasonable about of time.  you know, like a few hours for a text and a day for an email.  I hate feeling ignored.  HATE IT.  I totally get that life comes up, but really?  why can’t you respond to me?  If I did something to piss you off, you need to tell me lest my mind goes nuts like it is want to do.  I do not want to become one of those annoying teenaged girls who won’t leave you alone, so please.  just freaking respond.

that is all.

blah.

gettin over the hump

so we had our second therapy session last night.  i was on the verge of tears a few times, which i know our therapist noticed, but i doubt hubby did.  but i didn’t do them to get a reaction from either of them.  more was said and i do feel better.  i had a sitter for bunny and had asked her to stay long enough for hubby and me to go to dinner afterward.  he seemed a bit irritated when i said no to the take and bake pizza place and insisted on a regular restaurant.  but he surprised me but suggesting a place we hadn’t gone in forever — once with cloth napkins and tablecloths.  it was such a treat.  anyhow, he said he wasn’t too big on the session as he didn’t have much he could ‘take away’.  he’s entirely too black and white.  sigh.  but i pointed out a few things and i think that helped a bit.  but, he did say he would keep going since i was so into it.  mini steps.  that’s all i ask.

he then laid into me on how i need to get over my mother  and his mother.  i know i do.  it’s just too damn hard.  they are such difficult women.  ugh.  and when we got home, there was a note from his mother saying she wanted to get a carseat this week and take bunny on a playdate next weekend.  um…i’m not so sure about that.  first, she has not been with bunny for more than, oh, 3 hours, and it has either been at our house or hers.  she acutally suggested the beach, an hour away.  right away i told hubby no.  he said he didn’t care either way, but wanted to know my reasoning.  so, i said, it’s a long, dangerous windy road and i’m not comfortable with ANYONE taking bunny that far away from me yet.  if they want to take her somewhere in town, fine.  but no leaving town.  besides, they struggle getting her strapped into her stroller, so how in the hell will they be able to figure out a carseat AND a stroller an hour away?  AND what if something happens?  yeah.  bad idea all around.  thankfully he said he would support my decision.  She is only 2, after all.

and speaking of being 2, i toured another preschool yesterday and fell in LOVE with it.  i can’t believe it.  and hubby agreed.  we’re going to start sending her in february, which frightens me, but i know it will be so good for her.  she could start now, but I am not ready for that.  ha.  so we will wait until she is 2 1/2.  it’s going to be quite the adjustment for me as it will be 4 days a week!!  at first i was very leery, but after touring the school, i just KNEW it would be the right fit for bunny and that she will just absolutely thrive there.

and i’ve decided to start writing again.  yes, i know, i’ve said that before.  but i’m doing more than just journaling here.  i want to write prose again.  i am even tempted to sign up for some writing workshops.  eeee!

a new begining.

so, yes.  it has been forever and a day that i have written.  life has been so um…upside down.  i don’t even know where to begin.  i finally hit my breaking point with hubby and threatened to leave if we didn’t seek therapy.  so, we’re going to therapy.  we’ve only been once so far and we go again tomorrow.  i’m at the end of my rope.  all i want is to feel loved AND appreciated.  daily.  it is not too much to ask for.  things have been no less than gnarly for a long time.  we’ve been fighting more and it’s just been so damn uncomfortable to be home.  he resents me for being a stay at home mom and not making money.  he doesn’t see the benefit of me staying home, regardless of the fact that we can totally afford for me to stay home AND still manage to put money in savings.  he thinks i don’t discipline bunny and let her run the show.  i could go on and on, but i would just get more sad.  he has no clue what i do all day and thinks i just sit around and watch tv.  he has no clue.  none.  he can’t see how incredibly bright she is.  she is such an amazing little person and i KNOW it has a lot to do with me being home with her.

and don’t even get me started on his family, namely his mother.  i CANNOT stand the woman.  she has always been mean and judgmental, but she is even worse now that bunny is here.  she is just down right nasty to me.  and she doesn’t listen to a word i say.  i am so over her ever babysitting again.  and though she rarely has time for us or bunny, those few times she is around is no less than nightmarish.  and what’s worse, is that hubby and mil feed off of each other, so it’s a total loss for me, each and every time.

it’s just hard, feeling like i am the only one who genuinely has bunny’s best interest at heart.  i just wish i had someone to talk to.  someone maternal.  someone who has been there.  i am not close with my mother, and even worse of with my mil.  i have friends, thankfully, but sometimes i just feel so lost.  hubby always says i care too much what people think, that i just want people to like me.  and that’s true to a point.  i DO care what people think, but not to an unhealthy level.  i just want to make sure i am doing right by bunny.  and OF COURSE i care if people like me.  but if people don’t like me because of WHO I AM, then that’s a different story.  then i don’t don’t need to be THEIR friend.  i don’t try to be someone’s friend just to have a friend — i don’t have time for that.  but i do care what my real friends think about me, as i’m sure they care what i think about them.  that’s what being a friend is all about.  it’s that whole ‘it takes a friend to be a friend’ thing.  if you’re not kind to others, how do you expect them to be kind to you?

now hubby is on this kick where i need to find a job because he thinks i HATE staying home with bunny, which he could not be more WRONG about.  but i DO need a break every now and then.  anyhow, he has decided that i need to be a bookkeeper.  um..really?  like numbers and i get along?  uh huh.  he has this whole thing that if i get in a jam, he can always help me since he’s a corporate accountant and all.  right.  shouldn’t i do something that i am passionate about?  so i am going to start writing here again and see if i can find some sort of writing/editing job.  you know, do something i am PASSIONATE about.  because life is not all about black and white, which is how hubby thinks.  i think in shades of gray.  sure, i can take on a bookkeeping job, but if i’m spending what little time i have on something, it needs to be something i LIKE.

deep breaths.

Yes, it has been forever and a day or maybe even two, since I have written.  So many times I have meant to write, yet the worlds have failed me.  I have so much running around in my head these days and so often that I can’t seem to put them down.  Even right now I have so many thought just crashing into themselves that I have no idea how they will all make it on this page.  I guess the best way to control my mind is to paraphrase somewhat.  So here’s what’s been going on:

Early Prevention means just that.  EARLY.  Four years old is NOT early.  It is lazy parenting to not realize your kid is not where he should be.  Not potty trained?  Doesn’t dress himself?  Will only drink out of a sippy cup?  Seriously?  Sure, I understand helping your kid get dressed or with other things, but doing it FOR him because you think he is taking too long or you are feeling rushed?  Not okay.  And WTF do you do all day besides sit on Facebook?

So, you’re exercising.  Good.  You need to.  But still eating at Barf Bear, er..Black Bea, all the time and loading up on gross, processed foods is not helping.  You NEED to change your diet as well as your exercise habits.  And really.  I bet if you started eating better you would FEEL better.  And not only would you loose weight, but I bet your skin would clear up and your emotions would get in check as well.  And maybe your headaches would also go away.  Or at least happen less frequently.

I’ve recently reunited with a few friends from my past and it’s been so great to be back in touch.  And crazy, too.  I found out a friend I have known since kindergarden is also adopted.  I seriously had NO idea and we were like, super good friends.  It’s wild.  AND I think now we’re BOTH going to look for our bio moms.  Wow.  Nuts.

As much as Hubby and I have our difficulties, we still have a lot of goodness as well.  And I have to say, I will NEVER let him dictate my life like some people I know.  I mean, really.  Not being allowed to do things is just silly.  Not being allowed to have a Facebook account?  Really?  For fear of cheating?  Because of something you read?  geesh.  You don’t have to friend people you don’t know, or even like.  Not everyone is out to get you just because your spouse says so.  And not every single person wants to have an affair.  Just because someone is married doesn’t make them safe, either.

For the love of all things girlie.  Please do something about your nasty ass feet.  Lotion.  Lotion is all you need.  Okay, not ALL, but it’s a start.  Your feet are nastier than an elephant.  And you wear flip flops all the time.  It doesn’t take much to maintain your feet.  Hell, it doesn’t even cost much.  And for all the fashion crap you wear, you would think you would pay attention to your feet.

ah.  Daddy woke up Bunny.  well, that’s all she wrote for now…

on snobbery.

I like to think of my self as not snobby.  I’m pretty easy going and don’t judge.  much.  And while I think money does play a part in happiness, like being able to afford things without totally stressing over them, I don’t think having money is the end-all-be-all to happiness.  It just helps with the comforts of life.  But, you can be totally happy without having money.  Or a lot of money.  Many of the people I know who are less fortunate are the kindest, happiest people I know whereas the people who have money, are not as happy.  Especially the ones who are constantly trying to keep up with the dreaded Joneses.

That all being said, there are certain things that I am quite the snob about.  Here are a few things:

Walmart.  I do not shop there.  Yes, I have tried several times.  Once in Kansas and a few times where I live now.  I cannot stand Walmart.  It attracts an unsavory kind of person that is well, trashy.  And the company itself is pretty bad.  Sure, they have low prices, but they really aren’t THAT much lower than say, Target. And have you seen the people of Walmart ?  It’s not just from one store.  I’m just sayin.

Hair care products.  Oh, I have tried the cheap stuff.  But you can totally tell the difference.  Well, at least I can.  Yeah, some of the stuff makes my hair SUPER soft, but it’s all the extra stuff they add.  It’s not natural healthy hair, it’s chemicals.  I totally will pay more for good stuff that doesn’t make my hair feel weird.  I love, love love Bumble and bumble, but it tends to be pricey, so I used Aveda on a daily basis and save the B&b for special occasions.  But, pretty much all of my styling products are B&b.

Children’s personal care products.  I am totally on the organic bandwagon on this.  I use only the good stuff on Bunny.  No nasty chemicals ovah here.  Johnson & Johnson products are JAM PACKED with nasty stuff, as is their subsidiary, Aveno.  They just have nastiness in them.  I stick with California Baby for her products.  I just feel better knowing she’s got good stuff on her than nasty chemicals that can do damage later in life.  Sure, we all survived, but new things are coming out.  Like eye problems and infertility.  No thanks.  And really, it’s not that much for for these products, so I don’t mind the additional cost.

kate spade.  Yes, I am a handbag snob.  BUT I totally buy cool bags that are not name brand.  However, I WILL NOT buy a fake.  It’s just something I won’t do.  If I can’t afford it, I won’t carry it.  That pretty much goes for any designer.  I’m all about things looking like the real thing, but if they have a label claiming to be the real deal, they just better be.

Good food.  Oh yeah, I can eat pretty junky at times, especially when there is a McDonald’s nearby.  But for the most part, we eat pretty healthy.  I am so tired of people saying they can’t loose weight and they eat like absolute crap.  Now, I’m not saying go vegan or anything crazy like that, but good lord.  All in moderation.  Whole grains are good for you and quite tasty, too.  So are fruits and veggies.  And I’m not saying to NEVER eat sugar, just maybe watch how much.  You don’t need a six pack of diet coke every freaking day.  And BTW, I love diet coke.  Just not that much daily.

Grammar.  yes, grammar.  I cannot stand it when people KNOWINGLY use the wrong grammar.  Seriously.  It just makes them look dumb.  And uneducated.  It grates on me like nothing else.  And there is no joking about it with me, either.  Sure, if it’s in context, then i’m all for it.  Totally for it, in fact.  HOWEVER, it kills me when people use words like they’re, their and there wrong.  Or it’s and its.  And what about you’re and your.  UGH.

I know there are other things on my list of things I am snobby about, but these are the most important.

What about you?  What are YOU snobby about?

random drivel.

I feel like I have been gone for so long.  First things, first, though.  WendyB, I think of you ALL THE TIME.  Every time hubby acts like an ass, I have your voice in my head telling me I don’t deserve to be treated like that.  I do talk back to him, though, so it’s not like he just says things and I take it lying down.  We’ve had some minor breakthroughs as of late, so that’s good.  But good LORD, this road is rough at times.

WARNING:  THE PRECEDING PARAGRAPH CONTAINS TMI.

My ENTIRE family has been sick for the past 5 days and it has been ROUGH.  Bunny and I went on an adventure on Friday and ended up at the local outlet malls.  sooo nice.  We were there for 2 1/2 hours and at the end, I decided to grab a coffee to go and as we were waiting for the coffee to be made….she started throwing up EVERYWHERE.  And she was strapped on my back in an ergo carrier, so yeah.  the vomit went all down my back.  EEWW.  And on the floor.  And all over her.  I was mortified as I had just grabbed my money and put her in the pack, so I had nothing to clean up with!  Thankfully the shopkeeper was super nice and helped me clean.  Then gave me a discount on my coffee drink.  But poor Bunny!  She threw up again as we got to the car.  I changed her clothes, and she threw up again.  I left her in a t-shirt and diaper for the drive home, and she threw up several more times before we finally got home.  It was SO sad.  She’s never thrown up before, so this was an extra big deal for both of us.  I got her into the bath and changed her, and she threw up some more.  She just laid on me the rest of the day, throwing up every now and then.  Pedialite did no good, but regular juice seemed to help.  Then came on the diarrhea.  Saturday it was light, then Sunday it was still light.  Then Hubby got sick.  GOOD GOD, did he get sick.  I have never seen anyone so sick.  It came out of both ends at the same time.  I felt awful for him.  He was miserable.  He had a fever, body aches and was all around miserable.  Nothing would stay down, or in, as the case may be.  Then there were some accidents.  I have never done so much laundry in such a short time!  Then on Monday, he was still awful and Bunny’s diarrhea got worse.  It got all soupy and way messy.  It would be machine gun rapid fire then her diaper would overflow.  My God.  And she was EXTRA cranky because she wasn’t feeling well.  By Tuesday, Hubby was slowly starting to feel better, but was still extra weak.  Bunny, however was still going strong with her diarrhea.  When I went to get her in the morning, she was COVERED with it.  Thankfully, she was okay with taking a bath because wipes just weren’t going to cut it.  I took her on a long drive so Hubby could have some quiet and Bunny fell asleep for a good hour.  It was nice to be out, but I was sad for my sickies.  And to top it all off, it was EXTRA hot and we don’t have air conditioning at home, so there’s that.  I set up Bunny’s pool so she could get some relief.  I prayed that no diarrhea would happen while she was in it, and for once, luck was on my side.  This morning, everyone seems to be back to normal.  Hubby went to work and Bunny just took a solid poo.  I am hoping the worst is over.  And KNOCK ON WOOD, but I didn’t get sick.  I guess someone was looking out for the mama who had to tend to everyone else!!!

OKAY.  TMI OVER!!

So back to my shopping trip to the outlet mall.  Aahh.  It was so nice.  I went into the Barney’s store and was instantly whisked back to my former life of fashion, delicious clothes and fabulous shoes.  The fabrics felt cool to the touch and so decadent.  I slipped my feet into some darling kate spade kitten heals, but resisted buying them.  There were some Theory pants to die for and a darling little marc jacobs dress.  Ahhh.  Maybe one day again I will rock the fashion like I used to.  I have, though, recently made a few purchases at Banana and boy, does that make things  A LOT better.  It’s amazing how a little bit of personal care goes so far.  I had let myself get into the frumpy mom place and I hated it.  About a month ago, I went to dinner with a group of girlfriends and they all comment on how good I looked.  Had I gotten my hair done?  Gotten new clothes?  Gotten new make up?  Nope.  I had just taken the time to clean up.  And really, it didn’t take all that long AT ALL.  Hell, all I really had to do was blow dry my hair instead of letting it air dry, swipe on some mascara and put on a sassy top that actually showed I had boobs, not just milk jugs.  And I did feel Hott.  So, ever since then, I have tried to make more of an effort.  Because, damn it, I’M WORTH IT.

So in less than 2 months, Bunny will be 2.  Holy crap.  How in the world did THAT happen?  And when?!  She has gotten so big!  And is so freaking awesome.  I truly love her more and more each and every day.  It’s just surreal.  Sure, there are rough days.  Days I want to lock her in her room so she stops whining.  Okay, that part isn’t true.  She doesn’t really whine very much and I never lock her in her room.  For long.  ha.  Anyhow, she is just amazing.  But now I want to plan a little party for her and I’m sort of at a loss of what to do.  Last year we did a little garden party in our yard and I am thinking of doing the same this year.  But, now I think I need some sort of theme.  She’s into all kinds of things, but nothing is her favorite.  And the kicker of it all?  I want to have her party on the Saturday before her Tuesday birthday.  But that Saturday, I just found out, is the opening of Deer Season, so hubby wants to hunt.  Um, really?  Yeah.  He can hunt.  And I will still have the party.  He wanted me to change the date of the party.  Seriously?  Just so he can hunt.  Um no.  It’s his daughter’s birthday.  Jackass.  I told him he doesn’t have to do a thing but show up.  you know, like last year.  He’s all cranky about it.  But whatever.  I’m not changing the date because he wants to hunt.

on my mind.

I’ve had a lot on my mind these days and while I have had some wonderful friends who have let me vent to them, I have to write it down as well.  Normally, I’m a pretty mellow person.  Sure, I have some upswings of craziness and some downswings of the deep depths of misery, but I’m usually pretty level.  Anyhow, I have recently been shaken to my core.  There is a gal who I have befriended in the program.  She has always been a bit off to me, but I just chalked that up to the adage that some are sicker than others.  Anyhow, a few weeks ago I poured my heart out to her at dinner about my woes with hubby.  We recently had gotten in quite a row and I needed to get some things off my chest.  I had gone to a woman’s meeting and then out to dinner with this gal.  Anyhow, over the course of dinner, she was nothing but negative and started spewing all of this crap to me, including how I should seriously consider divorce.  Now, mind you, I had never mentioned divorce to her.  Also, she is in the process of divorce herself, so of course it is fresh in her mind.  That being said, I do not believe divorce is the go-to for me.  AT.ALL.  Marriage, like any relationship, takes WORK.  Anyhow, I totally disregarded her comments on divorce as that is not an option for me right now.  Anyhow, she went on further saying crap and I left the dinner with a heavy heart about my friendship with her.  Fast forward a few weeks and we went to the meeting then dinner afterward again.  This time two other gals went with us.  It was a nice dinner, save for the fact that the gal called me a snob because I do not like KOA camp grounds.  Whatever.  So be it.  I’m a snob in that regard.  I have been pretty much avoiding her at all costs since.  However, I ended up going to the meeting again this past Tuesday.  Okay, I went on purpose.  I had heard that SHE was going to be the speaker that night.  I had known her for roughly 2 years and had never heard her total story and I was more than intrigued.  GOOD GOD HOLY HELL.  I wanted to flee like a wet rat pretty much as soon as she started speaking.  To say it was horrible was an understatement.  Normally people who share stick to a basic structure : what it was like , what happened, and what it is like now.  Basically, experience, strength and hope.  That being said, she just gave a drunkalog.  That’s it.  It was so bad.  AND.  the worst?  Well during one of our dinners she kept on saying what a great mother she was while she was drinking.  I was baffled at the time, as if you are a drunk, in my eyes at least, there is NO WAY you can be a good mother.  You just can’t.  No matter how much deluding yourself you are doing, you can’t.  Anyhow, she added examples of how she was with her infant daughter when she was drinking.  I wanted to get up and leave.  I was so filled with emotion that she thought/thinks she was great to her daughter.  It freaking killed me.  Most women who share have said they were horrible mothers, that their drinking came first and so on.  This gal said the same, but thinks that behavior is okay.  Her whole share was a mess.  It was more that she had told me how great she was and her share contradicted EVERYTHING.  Like she had totally lied to me.  Or is completly delusional.  It has just bothered me so much.  Also?  I feel so awful for her daughter, stuck in the middle of all of this.  This gal is so selfish and sick.  I am staying as far away as I can.  But I feel so used and abused.  Like, I had poured my heart out to her and now she has all of this information on me.  Sure, she can’t really use any of it, but still.  That’s not the point.  It just makes me feel shitty.

Then, I have been getting some stellar parenting advice as of late.  The latest?  Last night a girlfriend was asking me how potty training was going.  I said it’s slow going and I’m not really pushing the issue.  She asked if Bunny was still going on the floor.  I said every once in a while.  My friend said I need to get a fly swatter and smack Bunny with it whenever she goes on the floor.  You know, as a tough love approach.  WTF?!  I AM NOT SMACKING MY KID WITH A FLY SWATTER.  Yes, I understand it won’t hurt.  But good LORD.  I don’t want to freak her out about potty training, either.  She’s only 21 months.  She WILL get it.  Oh, and the kicker?  My friend’s 2 1/2 year old isn’t potty trained either.  What the hell is wrong with people?!

blah.

ugh.  i woke up SO cranky today.  I just hate that.  I had the most bizarre dream, so that may be the reason.  That and the never ending crappy weather.  It’s the end of May and we STILL have rain.  It SUCKS.  And we had to cancel our weekend getaway plans for Memorial Day weekend, too.  le sigh.  We WERE going to head up to the Sierras where Hubby’s family has a cabin, but there is way too much snow.  So much, in fact, that the front door of the cabin is still under snow.  And the spicket to turn on the water is under tons of snow, so there’s that, too.  So needless to say, we’re not going.  sigh.  But, we will take a day trip or two instead, so that will be good.  Maybe the sun will come out by then.

My FB stalker seems to have simmered down a bit, but perhaps that because I haven’t been posting as much.  And I try to stay off of chat, since she is ALWAYS on it, but that’s the only way I get to chat with some of my other friends.  Oh well.  I know, things could be worse, right?!  Like right now she *thinks* she might be pregnant, but doesn’t want to take a test just yet.  Then she spouts off some lame medical jargon, or what she *thinks* is medical jargon because she was a chiropractor years ago and like, I’m some lame person who doesn’t know things.  UGH.  Also, when I asked her why she thinks she might be pregnant, she went to this whole diatribe about her IUD, like I don’t know what those are.  ANYHOW…

Bunny is now in a naked phase, which would be okay if it wasn’t so freaking cold.  I seriously have to turn the heater on because she will not wear clothes.  And potty training?  sigh.  She has had a few more accidents and well, hasn’t gone on the potty yet.  BUT today when I told her — and showed her the goods — that she would get chocolate if she pee’d or poo’d in the potty, she got excited.  Still nothing yet, but that’s okay…right?!

Have I mentioned that this weather is driving me bat shit crazy?  UGH.  I am SO OVER it.  I’m going on a girls only rafting trip in a couple of weeks and it BETTER be nice then.  It’s going to be all Dallas Fort Worth.  Oh, that’s right, my darling white bear, DFW.  oot oot!

Bunny took a super long nap today, which allowed ME to take a super long nap as well.  Then she played in her room for an hour~!  I finally went and got her 4 hours later!  whoot.  I just missed her.  We ran errands in the rain, which was actually pretty fun.  She was a little maniac since she hasn’t really been outside in a while because of the crappy weather. Have I mentioned how sucky it has been?!

Finally, tonight I decided to go to a women’s meeting.  I normally abhor going, but I figured it’d give it yet another chance.  The speaker was a gal who normally bugs the crap out of me, and well, she still does.  But other than her, it was okay.  I even picked up a new  sponcee.  So, we’ll see how that goes.  She’s supposed to call me tomorrow and we’ll go from there.  I also went to dinner with some gals from the meeting.  It was um..interesting.  One gal has been getting on my nerves recently, but the other two were good.  The one gal called me a snob because I don’t like koa campgrounds.  Geesh.  Just because I don’t like tent camping at a campground that caters to motor homes does not mean I’m a camping snob.  But I suppose I could be called a snob for worse reasons.