Category: rant.

So below is an email I got today from a family member.  I have changed names and places as not to give away any more than necessary.  But holy christ.  :


I am really earning my Grandma Badge this year…
> As most of you know, I came directly from xx to xxx for
> Thanksgiving.
> X’s Father had a triple by-pass last week and were unable to watch
> baby when X returned to work. She could not put this off as
> she would lose soooo many benefits, because she pushed her off time to
> the limit.
> They put baby in the same pre-school care as his sister. He did great,
> but he came down with a nasty cold and has not been feeling well all
> week. I was hoping I could have left xx in time to cover that shift,
> but it was not to be.
> This coupled with the preparation of Thanksgiving dinner at their house,
> (of which her Mother is usually able to help with, but couldn’t this
> year because of the Father’s surgery) and lack of sleep for X, made
> her have a melt down. She went to the doctor and they gave her “happy”
> pills. She is doing much better now.
> X showed me all the recipes and they were easy to follow and tasted
> delicious. XX did the Turkey, and X’s brother and sister-in-law
> made some of the dishes as well. We sat down right on time to a
> delicious dinner and had so much to be Thankful for 🙂
> On Friday, with my urging, they took baby to the doctor as he was now
> running a fever. The results came back this morning that it is
> pneumonia. Since we caught it early, it a mild case and they are
> treating it with only antibiotics.
> The stresses:
> Her Dad’s surgery
> No Mom to baby sit and they have NEVER left him with anyone else
> baby being sick (now pneumonia)
> No sleep
> Having her mother-in-law stay with them (that would be me)
> Thanksgiving dinner for her family (mom, dad, brother and wife and ME of
> course)
> And there are still two more coming up. XX has to travel to Phoenix
> for work in less than two weeks for a couple of days. She has to get
> both kids out the door by 7:00 and to day care. She cannot be late to
> her classroom, so it is weighing on her as well.
> Then her Dad is due for another surgery on his Carotid Artery.
> After that things should be better.
> I will be home on Dec. 1.
> Hope you all had a wonderful Turkey Day.


I would DIE if my mother in law sent out an email like this to everyone.  Hell, I would die if ANYONE sent out an email like this about me. I mean, yes, the person who the email is in reference to is a nut and I have secretly been waiting for her to crack, but  holy hell.  It’s no ones business that it happened.  And seriously, the stuff she has to deal with is nothing.  Sure, I am judging, but I know this person and she is wound tighter that my hubby, and that is saying A LOT.  It was only a matter of time before she lost it.  BUT STILL.  I’m just so saddened by the email and that the person who sent it is so flipping insensitive.  damn relatives.


omfg. stfu. asshat.

gaaa.  i want to scream, but bunny is asleep.  and my head kinda hurts.  so i will vent here.

so there is this gal that i cannot stand on fb.  you may ask why she is my friend, and i honestly have no idea.  i mean, i went to hs with her and knew her sister who was HORRIBLE and for some reason, i friended her.  anyhow, she in nothing but constantly negative and NASTY.  i had enough yesterday and ‘hid’ her so i won’t have to see her posting anymore.  however, i guess i am a glutton for punishment as i just checked out her wall for some fodder.  and fodder i found.  she just commented on a link at bergdorf goodman.  she had the gall to correct the fashion GIANT on THEIR post.  they posted about a fabulous resort collection by the fantastic oscar de la renta and she said “i believe that is called resort WEAR”.  um.  no.  no it’s not.  it’s his COLLECTION.  gaaaa.  i  know it shouldn’t bother me, but jesus fucking christ.  sure, it may be resort wear, but it is a COLLECTION of resort wear.  obviously she has never been to a fashion show.  they show their COLLECTIONS there.  sigh.  she just bugs the ever living shit out of me.

okay.  end rant.  for now.

deep breaths.

Yes, it has been forever and a day or maybe even two, since I have written.  So many times I have meant to write, yet the worlds have failed me.  I have so much running around in my head these days and so often that I can’t seem to put them down.  Even right now I have so many thought just crashing into themselves that I have no idea how they will all make it on this page.  I guess the best way to control my mind is to paraphrase somewhat.  So here’s what’s been going on:

Early Prevention means just that.  EARLY.  Four years old is NOT early.  It is lazy parenting to not realize your kid is not where he should be.  Not potty trained?  Doesn’t dress himself?  Will only drink out of a sippy cup?  Seriously?  Sure, I understand helping your kid get dressed or with other things, but doing it FOR him because you think he is taking too long or you are feeling rushed?  Not okay.  And WTF do you do all day besides sit on Facebook?

So, you’re exercising.  Good.  You need to.  But still eating at Barf Bear, er..Black Bea, all the time and loading up on gross, processed foods is not helping.  You NEED to change your diet as well as your exercise habits.  And really.  I bet if you started eating better you would FEEL better.  And not only would you loose weight, but I bet your skin would clear up and your emotions would get in check as well.  And maybe your headaches would also go away.  Or at least happen less frequently.

I’ve recently reunited with a few friends from my past and it’s been so great to be back in touch.  And crazy, too.  I found out a friend I have known since kindergarden is also adopted.  I seriously had NO idea and we were like, super good friends.  It’s wild.  AND I think now we’re BOTH going to look for our bio moms.  Wow.  Nuts.

As much as Hubby and I have our difficulties, we still have a lot of goodness as well.  And I have to say, I will NEVER let him dictate my life like some people I know.  I mean, really.  Not being allowed to do things is just silly.  Not being allowed to have a Facebook account?  Really?  For fear of cheating?  Because of something you read?  geesh.  You don’t have to friend people you don’t know, or even like.  Not everyone is out to get you just because your spouse says so.  And not every single person wants to have an affair.  Just because someone is married doesn’t make them safe, either.

For the love of all things girlie.  Please do something about your nasty ass feet.  Lotion.  Lotion is all you need.  Okay, not ALL, but it’s a start.  Your feet are nastier than an elephant.  And you wear flip flops all the time.  It doesn’t take much to maintain your feet.  Hell, it doesn’t even cost much.  And for all the fashion crap you wear, you would think you would pay attention to your feet.

ah.  Daddy woke up Bunny.  well, that’s all she wrote for now…

on my mind.

I’ve had a lot on my mind these days and while I have had some wonderful friends who have let me vent to them, I have to write it down as well.  Normally, I’m a pretty mellow person.  Sure, I have some upswings of craziness and some downswings of the deep depths of misery, but I’m usually pretty level.  Anyhow, I have recently been shaken to my core.  There is a gal who I have befriended in the program.  She has always been a bit off to me, but I just chalked that up to the adage that some are sicker than others.  Anyhow, a few weeks ago I poured my heart out to her at dinner about my woes with hubby.  We recently had gotten in quite a row and I needed to get some things off my chest.  I had gone to a woman’s meeting and then out to dinner with this gal.  Anyhow, over the course of dinner, she was nothing but negative and started spewing all of this crap to me, including how I should seriously consider divorce.  Now, mind you, I had never mentioned divorce to her.  Also, she is in the process of divorce herself, so of course it is fresh in her mind.  That being said, I do not believe divorce is the go-to for me.  AT.ALL.  Marriage, like any relationship, takes WORK.  Anyhow, I totally disregarded her comments on divorce as that is not an option for me right now.  Anyhow, she went on further saying crap and I left the dinner with a heavy heart about my friendship with her.  Fast forward a few weeks and we went to the meeting then dinner afterward again.  This time two other gals went with us.  It was a nice dinner, save for the fact that the gal called me a snob because I do not like KOA camp grounds.  Whatever.  So be it.  I’m a snob in that regard.  I have been pretty much avoiding her at all costs since.  However, I ended up going to the meeting again this past Tuesday.  Okay, I went on purpose.  I had heard that SHE was going to be the speaker that night.  I had known her for roughly 2 years and had never heard her total story and I was more than intrigued.  GOOD GOD HOLY HELL.  I wanted to flee like a wet rat pretty much as soon as she started speaking.  To say it was horrible was an understatement.  Normally people who share stick to a basic structure : what it was like , what happened, and what it is like now.  Basically, experience, strength and hope.  That being said, she just gave a drunkalog.  That’s it.  It was so bad.  AND.  the worst?  Well during one of our dinners she kept on saying what a great mother she was while she was drinking.  I was baffled at the time, as if you are a drunk, in my eyes at least, there is NO WAY you can be a good mother.  You just can’t.  No matter how much deluding yourself you are doing, you can’t.  Anyhow, she added examples of how she was with her infant daughter when she was drinking.  I wanted to get up and leave.  I was so filled with emotion that she thought/thinks she was great to her daughter.  It freaking killed me.  Most women who share have said they were horrible mothers, that their drinking came first and so on.  This gal said the same, but thinks that behavior is okay.  Her whole share was a mess.  It was more that she had told me how great she was and her share contradicted EVERYTHING.  Like she had totally lied to me.  Or is completly delusional.  It has just bothered me so much.  Also?  I feel so awful for her daughter, stuck in the middle of all of this.  This gal is so selfish and sick.  I am staying as far away as I can.  But I feel so used and abused.  Like, I had poured my heart out to her and now she has all of this information on me.  Sure, she can’t really use any of it, but still.  That’s not the point.  It just makes me feel shitty.

Then, I have been getting some stellar parenting advice as of late.  The latest?  Last night a girlfriend was asking me how potty training was going.  I said it’s slow going and I’m not really pushing the issue.  She asked if Bunny was still going on the floor.  I said every once in a while.  My friend said I need to get a fly swatter and smack Bunny with it whenever she goes on the floor.  You know, as a tough love approach.  WTF?!  I AM NOT SMACKING MY KID WITH A FLY SWATTER.  Yes, I understand it won’t hurt.  But good LORD.  I don’t want to freak her out about potty training, either.  She’s only 21 months.  She WILL get it.  Oh, and the kicker?  My friend’s 2 1/2 year old isn’t potty trained either.  What the hell is wrong with people?!


ugh.  i woke up SO cranky today.  I just hate that.  I had the most bizarre dream, so that may be the reason.  That and the never ending crappy weather.  It’s the end of May and we STILL have rain.  It SUCKS.  And we had to cancel our weekend getaway plans for Memorial Day weekend, too.  le sigh.  We WERE going to head up to the Sierras where Hubby’s family has a cabin, but there is way too much snow.  So much, in fact, that the front door of the cabin is still under snow.  And the spicket to turn on the water is under tons of snow, so there’s that, too.  So needless to say, we’re not going.  sigh.  But, we will take a day trip or two instead, so that will be good.  Maybe the sun will come out by then.

My FB stalker seems to have simmered down a bit, but perhaps that because I haven’t been posting as much.  And I try to stay off of chat, since she is ALWAYS on it, but that’s the only way I get to chat with some of my other friends.  Oh well.  I know, things could be worse, right?!  Like right now she *thinks* she might be pregnant, but doesn’t want to take a test just yet.  Then she spouts off some lame medical jargon, or what she *thinks* is medical jargon because she was a chiropractor years ago and like, I’m some lame person who doesn’t know things.  UGH.  Also, when I asked her why she thinks she might be pregnant, she went to this whole diatribe about her IUD, like I don’t know what those are.  ANYHOW…

Bunny is now in a naked phase, which would be okay if it wasn’t so freaking cold.  I seriously have to turn the heater on because she will not wear clothes.  And potty training?  sigh.  She has had a few more accidents and well, hasn’t gone on the potty yet.  BUT today when I told her — and showed her the goods — that she would get chocolate if she pee’d or poo’d in the potty, she got excited.  Still nothing yet, but that’s okay…right?!

Have I mentioned that this weather is driving me bat shit crazy?  UGH.  I am SO OVER it.  I’m going on a girls only rafting trip in a couple of weeks and it BETTER be nice then.  It’s going to be all Dallas Fort Worth.  Oh, that’s right, my darling white bear, DFW.  oot oot!

Bunny took a super long nap today, which allowed ME to take a super long nap as well.  Then she played in her room for an hour~!  I finally went and got her 4 hours later!  whoot.  I just missed her.  We ran errands in the rain, which was actually pretty fun.  She was a little maniac since she hasn’t really been outside in a while because of the crappy weather. Have I mentioned how sucky it has been?!

Finally, tonight I decided to go to a women’s meeting.  I normally abhor going, but I figured it’d give it yet another chance.  The speaker was a gal who normally bugs the crap out of me, and well, she still does.  But other than her, it was okay.  I even picked up a new  sponcee.  So, we’ll see how that goes.  She’s supposed to call me tomorrow and we’ll go from there.  I also went to dinner with some gals from the meeting.  It was um..interesting.  One gal has been getting on my nerves recently, but the other two were good.  The one gal called me a snob because I don’t like koa campgrounds.  Geesh.  Just because I don’t like tent camping at a campground that caters to motor homes does not mean I’m a camping snob.  But I suppose I could be called a snob for worse reasons.

you want some of me?!

To the woman who babysat last night:

For the love of God.  PLEASE STOP JUDGING ME.  I know that when you came over,  Bunny didn’t have shoes on.  She rarely does when we’re outside.  It is OK.  She is either on the grass or the driveway.  Her feet are fine.  OF COURSE I put shoes on her when we actually leave.  Like when we go to the park.  Or the store.  Or pretty much anywhere else.  She is FINE, and so are her feet.  In fact, most of the time she will remove her shoes and become barefoot on her own.  And yes, Bunny was sans pants and diaper.  We are in the middle of potty training and I had just cleaned up a mess when you arrived.  She is 20  months old and I highly doubt she will offend someone if they saw her naked bum.  There really was no need for you to give me a nasty look when I told you as much.  And when I told you, you didn’t have to partake in the potty training and that you could keep the diaper on her, you didn’t have to be so snippy saying of course you would have nothing to do with potty training.  Geesh, lady.  I already let you off the hook.  You didn’t have to be rude about it.  Oh wait.  That’s all you know how to do.  Then, when you asked about dinner and I showed you what I had for Bunny, you didn’t have to give me a hard time because there wasn’t any protein.  She doesn’t have to have protein for every flipping meal.  Just be thankful I didn’t ask you to give her a bath.  Also, when we got home, you didn’t need to point out that you did my dishes and folded my laundry because my house was a mess.  Also, you didn’t have to make it clear that Bunny had kept her shoes and her pants and her diaper on for you.  Of course she did.  YOU are not ME.  She will act differently for you. But of course, you will never realize that.  OH!  And when you told me that Bunny didn’t eat much for dinner but you refused to give her any of her snacks she was asking for, I wanted so smack you.  Just because she didn’t want her pasta but would eat her crackers, you should have given her the crackers! At least she would have had something!!

To the man who cussed at me today:

I don’t know who pissed in your Wheaties this morning, but it was absolutely unnecessary and completely rude to tell me that I am a fucking asshole.  I have no idea what provoked you to say that.  I was driving UNDER the speed limit and was fully aware that I was approaching the cross walk where you were walking with your dog — unleashed, no less.  Yes, I rolled down my window because I could not believe you yelled at me.  I was no where NEAR the cross walk when you were in it.  When I asked you what you had said and you told me that I was “a fucking asshole ” because I  “was driving like one” I nearly lost it.  I had no response.  I was so flabbergasted.  When I turned to my friend, who was with me at the time, I was met with a look of sheer surprise.  Her mouth was open and her eyes were wide.  I asked if I was, in fact, driving like a fucking asshole and the consensus was that I was not.  So, fuck you mister.

To my husband:

Just because Bunny throws fits at the end of the day does not mean that I overstimulate her.  I also do not need your advice that I ‘learn how to parent’.  Also, potty training is HARD.  Do not belittle my efforts.  It is not easy.  You choose to run away whenever poop is even mentioned.  Like today.  You were going to take Bunny with you on your run this afternoon, but since she was having a tantrum, you opted to go without her and blame me for her actions.  Nice.  Real nice, buddy.  I already feel shitty enough about my efforts with her.

To the person who suddenly thinks we are raising chickens for her:

Um, sorry, but no, no we are not.  Do not think that because you have offered to split the cost of another coop with us that we will suddenly jump at the chance.  I am not raising ANYTHING for you.  Thank GOD hubby said no.  But holy hell.  The audacity of some people.  Yes, we had thought about getting a few more chickens, but really, having 3 chickens is more than enough for us.  And just because WE have chickens doesn’t mean anyone else will get to reap the benefits of it, unless of course, I say so.  So back off.  I really hope you do not think that we will be giving you a weekly allotment of eggs or anything once they start laying eggs, either.  Sure, you can have some from time to time, but not if you expect them and not every week, that’s for DARN sure.


I must say, I am rather annoyed today.  This whole health care reform bill has really gotten to me.  I’m just not a fan of big government and other people trying to rule my world.  Sure, I am an insignificant little ant in the whole scheme of things, but I do have an opinion.  And I vote, so dammit, I should have a say.  Sure, I feel for people without insurance.  I really do.  And I think the cost of insurance is ridiculous.  Just because I am in child bearing years and I had a complicated delivery and an emergency c-section, our insurance rates went way up.   Not fair in my eyes, but that’s just the way it is.  But here’s the thing.  No one has to pay for our insurance but US.  We’re not asking the government to help subsides what we pay. In other countries there is universal health care.  But the amount of taxes people pay for that health care is through the roof.  Seriously.  Almost 40% of their salary goes to health care taxes and that money gets taken out of their pay check before they even see the money.  NO THANK YOU.  Sure, the IDEA of universal health care SOUNDS good, but it’s really a bad, bad idea.