Gee, just ONE thing?  sigh.  I guess the biggest thing I hate about my self is my constant insecurity about being liked.  I really don’t know why that is, but it bothers me all the time.  I know I have friends and people who do like me, but I’m so damn insecure about it.  I’ve always been so envious about people who have true best friends and true loving families and have wanted both so bad.  Sometimes I think I try TOO hard for people to like me, then I think, if they don’t like me, then I don’t need ’em.  I mean, I don’t go out of my way and do anything silly, like stalk people or anything, but I do get my panties all in a bunch if people don’t respond back to me or call me in a reasonable amount of time.  Thank the jesus baby that I have grown up enough to not pester them, though.  It’s hard, but I just wait for them to contact me.  Then I make up all kinds of lame stuff in my head about WHY they haven’t gotten back to me, as if THEIR lives aren’t important or if THEY aren’t busy.  ugh.  I just hate that I am so insecure.  I know I’m a good person and a good friend.  I guess I just need more positive reinforcement and unfortunately, the family I have both married and regular are not the positive, loving kind.  I just need to be strong and grateful for myself, I guess.

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